That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
