I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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