He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
