Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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