I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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