Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We have started to decorate penises.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
