Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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