I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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