sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize