just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
When are your genitals available?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
