dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
