...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
