Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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