just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
