You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
