I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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