didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
