Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
