At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
