I didn't shave. On purpose
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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