oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
