There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
