Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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