I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
