marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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