She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize