She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
