I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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