That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
