D3 body, D1 cock
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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