1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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