Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
