mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
