thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Brb crying the tears of my youth
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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