i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
NoShamevember. You game?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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