I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
