he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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