I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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