I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize