just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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