cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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