I need help removing her.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
