Cold hands, warm shart.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
