Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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