I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
