Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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