wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
