You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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