Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
