I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
