my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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