i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize