I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
