New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
