Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
