i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She even gives head with a lisp.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
