he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize