I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
