dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I have fence marks all over my body
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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