The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize