Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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