If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
