She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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