"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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