why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
