if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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