Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
