I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
